Tuesday, April 29, 2008


I got some sleep finally! Bear went to bed at about 7 and didn't wake up, other than a couple times to eat, until 8! I slept in my own bed until 6 and only slept on that #$@% futon for a couple hours rather than ALL NIGHT. We ended up giving the poor kid Tylenol last night, thinking that he might be teething. He could have just been overtired, but he calmed down not too long after taking it and went into a deep sleep. We even skipped bathtime last night in favor of SLEEP. I feel kind of bad, thinking about it this morning. I mean, we probably aren't doing him any favors by screwing with the routine, but the routine was already all messed up from the night before, so I don't know.

I just realized that I never reported back on the professional photo day. Bear was really cooperative and smiled in every picture, which is great. I spent too much money on the pictures, which is not so great. And now, I'm not even sure that I ordered the right sizes. I didn't have any idea how much it should cost for photos, so Max and I didn't even talk about it before I went. Well, the photographers are also salespeople, so the woman there was able to talk me into things that I didn't really need. I wish they would have just had a written package price sheet, but of course they didn't. Man, what a crappy way to run a business. It's almost as bad as buying a car. It's like there's some secret to it that the general public doesn't know and has to go into it prepared to get ripped off. Next time, though, I'll be more prepared. I'll know how much I'm going to spend before I get there and I'll know what sizes I want and I won't be afraid to tell the photographer what I want and don't want. I was just a little overwhelmed by the decisions to be made the other day and the way they were presented to me was supposed to be confusing, I think. On a positive note, the pictures came out really well and I think we'll be happy we got it done. We just might have a few left over that we'll keep in a book or something!

I think, since it is a nice day already, I am going to see if my neighbor wants to take her kids to the park this afternoon with Bear and me. Bear's only been the one time, and even though he's a little stone-faced in the pictures, he enjoyed it. Plus, it would be good for us to get out a little. Anyway, it's a good excuse for me not to clean the house. As I mentioned yesterday, my mom will be here on Thursday and I at least need to get clean sheets and towels up to the guest room! I don't want to right now, though! I feel too good after sleeping to stay cooped up!

Monday, April 28, 2008

No nighty night for Momma

Okay, let me start by emphasizing that I LOVE my son. However, I HATE his recent sleeping patterns. I am so stinkin' tired right now and I don't know how to fix it. I realized last night that I haven't had more than 6 or 7 hours of sleep at night for a few weeks now. I used to need about 9 hours to feel well and I'm assuming that hasn't changed. My mom is coming to visit at the end of this week and I can't wait! I'm pretty sure she'll help me get good sleep at least one night. Max tries to help getting him to sleep some nights and I appreciate it, but he doesn't wake up (AT ALL!!) to Bear's cries. Plus, he has to get up in the morning to go to work, so the waking up in the middle of the night is left to me. I would be fine with this arrangement if it had any sort of pattern to it, but lately Bear has just been acting like he's nuts at night. Three nights ago, it was beautiful: he went to bed kind of late (like 10:30), but he slept for 5 straight hours and just wanted to eat and go back to sleep. The next night, he woke up every hour and a half! I had no idea what his problem was, but after going in his room and getting him back to sleep like 483 times, I gave up and slept on the back breaking futon with him. Based on the previous night and his lack of naps yesterday, I expected him to sleep last night, but he wailed every time I set him down in his crib. I would pick him back up and he would fall asleep immediately, but if I tried to lay him down, he would cry again. I tried waiting 5-15 minutes to see if he'd put himself back to sleep, but the cries just escalated to screams. I finally got him to sleep in his crib at 11:30, only to have him wake back up at 12:50. I didn't have the energy to fight it anymore, so I spent the rest of the night on the futon with him. To top all of this off, I could get no help from Max--his allergies were bad and he took Benadryl, so he was OUT. And he wonders why I don't feel too enthusiastic about having another child. I'm told it gets easier and then I'll want more babies, but we'll have to see about that. I want to puke when I think about being pregnant again and I hate the amount of maintenance that's required at night time right now. I know every kid is different, but what if the next one is WORSE?? What would I do then? Seriously, in the middle of the night last night, I thought about just leaving. Of course, I was so sleepy I wasn't being rational at all and I'm pretty much back to normal this morning, but I really did consider just walking out the front door and leaving Bear and his daddy to fend for themselves. I think I didn't do it because I was too tired to take that many steps.

Where is the magic that everyone has been telling me happens at about 3 months? People have been telling me since Bear was born that at about 3 months babies typically start sleeping better and for longer periods. My mom even wrote in my baby book that I turned into a "real angel" at 3 months. Not true for Bear...angel is definitely not a word I would use to describe him. True, he's only a week into this month, but we'll see. He's (shock!) crying again right now so I guess I'm done complaining for the moment.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Junk (but not in my trunk)

Bear was really good at the lunch yesterday! He just looked around and watched the other kids until he fell asleep. He stayed asleep for about 30 minutes and the only time he cried was when I had to put him back in his carseat to go home. When we got home, he was back to his grouchy self somewhat, but the sleeping was MUCH better last night. I think the key really is not to let him take long naps during the day. I think he only slept during the day yesterday for about 3 hours and at 8:00, he couldn't keep his little eyes open. Of course, he woke back up, but I had him in bed for good at 9:30 and he stayed asleep (with breaks for eating) until 6! Pretty exciting.

We are going to have professional photos made of Bear today at noon. I hope they come out really great. So far, we've been taking pictures of him at home every month, but I thought I might regret it if I didn't get any professional ones done, so I made an appointment. If they turn out to be not so good, then I'll try a different place for his 6 month pictures. I'm just trying Penney's this time, because one of my friends took her daughter there and they came out fine. There's a new photo studio here in town that has similar rates to Penney's and the like, so I may want to try them next time. I refuse to go to WalMart to get his pictures taken. I went there once with my friend to get her daughter's picture taken, and I just think I could take better pictures at home. Sure, they're cheap, but not anything special, and I can take free ones at home!

Not much else to report today. We're feeling pretty boring right about now. Bear and the dogs are all taking naps right now, so I'm having a rare completely alone moment, and I should probably take advantage of it by taking a shower or eating breakfast or something.

Here are some pictures we took at home. The first is at 1 month and the second is at 3 months. They definitely show that he is growing! He has changed so much in his short time here!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Lunch, etc.

Bear and I are going to a lunch today that is hosted by one of the moms from my new moms club. I am really hoping that Bear doesn't, as some people here in MS say, "act the fool" while we're there. He's been so crabby lately, I'm almost afraid to take him. I committed to it a while back, though, so I really should go. It's a vegetarian lunch and everyone makes something to bring. I made this crustless quiche that my husband really likes, so hopefully it will go well. I saw that other people were bringing stuff that wasn't extremely hard to make, like vegetable pizza and artichoke dip, so I'm not too worried. I think most of us are too busy to make a gourmet dish to take somewhere that we have to be at 10:30 am! Some of the moms in the club have 3 or 4 kids, so I know they're busy!

I also feel as if I've had almost no sleep here lately. I suppose every new mom feels that way at some time, so maybe I should be glad that I haven't felt it until just now. Bear has decided that he would like to go to bed at 10 pm and wake at 4 or 5 am. Well, I just can't do that. He'll take a LOOOOOONG nap around 8 or 9 if I let him, but I get no nap, so I am TIRED! Bear will sleep until 6 or 7 if I lie down with him on our futon, but that's not very comfortable for me. My husband and I were talking last night and he thinks that I should deprive Bear of some of his naps so that he'll sleep at night. I don't know if that's right or not, but right now, I'm ready to do just about anything to change his sleeping patterns. I don't see what it could hurt, honestly. I may have an extra grouchy baby during the day, but surely I can deal for a few days!

I worked a 40 hour per week job prior to having Bear and I just recently told them for sure that I was not coming back. I knew that I wasn't going to go back to work full time, but I thought I might want to work on weekends. I thought wrong! I would miss my family time on weekends too much. I love when the 3 of us can hang out together, that is, if I can get my husband to sit still for any length of time. On weekends, he'll sit around the house for an hour or two, but then he feels like he's wasting time, so he goes to a store or something and then he'll come back for a bit. He'll realize we need something else, so he'll leave again, and then come back for a little while. Then he might do yardwork or other stuff around the house. Don't get me wrong, we really do need the stuff done that he does, it just seems like he's always running on the weekends. Anyhow, my boss at my old job called me a couple of days ago to ask if I could work one weekend a month, and I think I'm going to do it. Bear and his daddy need to spend some time together without me around. I have trouble not jumping in to help (or just taking over) if I think my husband isn't handling something like I would, so this will force me to leave and not worry about the 2 of them for a while. Also, of course I love the little guy, but I really liked most of the people I worked with, too, and I miss them. I used to laugh a lot more than I do right now and I want that back. So, I guess I'm going to be a VERY part time worker. I really think that it will be good for me and for our family.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Grouchy Bear

Bear has been grouchy lately. So grouchy, in fact, that I don't want to take him anywhere. We stayed home yesterday and are going to do the same today, which makes ME kind of grouchy. I like to at least get out and take a walk or something every day, but he actually seems better if we stay put. I didn't realize how grouchy he was until we visited a friend on Sunday who has a 5 month old. That baby was HAPPY. He was laughing and smiling until he fell asleep and then he woke up and smiled some more. I wonder if Bear will just never have that sunny of a disposition...kind of like his momma?! He always cries when he wakes up from a nap and wants us to come get him. Bear does laugh and smile but just not as frequently as my friend's baby does. It seems like Bear is often frustrated and I'm wondering if he'll be a little happier when he can physically do what he wants. He will try to reach for things and realize that he cannot, so he cries. He wants to stand up, but cries when his legs give out on him. He wants to roll over and cries when he can't quite do it. As I'm writing this, I'm wondering now if maybe it's not good that these things frustrate him. I mean, ignorance is bliss, right? I don't want Bear to be happy and carefree because he doesn't strive to do anything. I want him to be determined and ambitious. Maybe he already is and I should stop worrying. Since he's 3 months old today, I'm expecting him to start being able to accomplish the physical things that are bugging him. Then he can move on to other things like crawling! I think I'll worry about that another day.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Every step you take...I'll be watching you...

I have recently noticed Bear watching me...a WHOLE LOT. He watches me eat, in particular, but he also watches me while I'm cleaning, watching television, reading, talking, picking my nose, etc. On one hand, this is great, right? I've got an observant kid who's taking it all in. On the other hand, though, this sucks. I'm totally on display and he's taking note of everything I do. I've been in a managerial role in almost all the jobs I've ever had, but I've never had this much of an influence over someone and let me tell you, it's a little scary. He's going to want to do everything I do (as soon as he physically can), so I suppose I'm going to have to change some of my habits. For example, last night, I was being lazy and didn't fix dinner for us. I opted instead to eat Flamin' Hot Cheetos for dinner (going to try not to give Bear lots of snacks like that)...on the couch (which will be a no no for Bear)...while watching tv (another no no)...while feeding Bear. I don't want him to pick up these horrible habits and I can't justify hanging on to them myself if I'm wanting to teach him the right way. I was just chowing down on those little red dyed puffs and Bear looks right in my face and says, "Laaaa". I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure he was judging me. I know it's not as if I'm doing heroin in front of him or murdering people in our living room, but I want him to be healthy and that's really important to me. I've had a weight problem myself that coincided with puberty and I have to work under the assumption that Bear is genetically predisposed to it, as well. I know how to eat well (dammit), but I just don't want to sometimes (okay, a lot of times). The excuse of being too lazy to fix a meal for myself is just not going to cut it when Bear's watching my every move and I NEED TO GET THAT THROUGH MY THICK SKULL. It's not just me that will suffer for it, he will, too. I'm going to go fix some wheatgrass tofu oatmeal for myself now and I'll be sure to list every ingredient out loud to Bear, just so he knows his momma is a health freak.


Thursday, April 17, 2008

Let sleeping bears lie

It would appear that Bear is indeed going through a growth spurt after all. Max found some info on growth spurts that said that a baby's body is programmed to wake up every hour to eat, so that the momma's body produces more milk during this time. Now, I'm not breastfeeding, but apparently Bear's body does not know that. Also, I noticed that his belly looked noticeably bigger when I was giving him a bath last night. The article Max found said that a baby will store up calories before the growth starts and then will sleep a whole lot while growing. I think we have entered the sleeping a whole lot stage now!! Bear went to bed at 9:30pm last night and did his typical wake up to eat deal every 3-4 hours, but he sure didn't wake up at 4am!! Yay! Instead, he woke up at 7am and ate and went back to sleep and is still sleeping at 9am! Normally, he starts a nap at 9 anyhow, so I'm just letting the tired little guy sleep. He's obviously wiped out.

Today's the first day in a while that I think Bear and I are just going to stay home. Over the past two weeks, we've been to visit my mom, my dad and his wife came here to visit, we've been to a meeting, to the store, to the park, etc. The only task I have to accomplish today is to figure out what food Bear should try next and how I should make it. Doesn't sound too difficult, but there are TONS of websites and thoughts on this topic to confuse me. According to most of them, Bear shouldn't even eat solid food yet, but the pediatrician said we could try some rice cereal at 2 months, so we did. The reasons that we can find for waiting until at least 4 months to feed a baby solids have to do with allergies and with the reflex that makes them spit everything out and/or gag on anything not liquid. I just fed him a tiny bit of the cereal at first and he seemed to have no problems, so we moved on to sweet potatoes this week. He's done great with these, too, so I need to figure out what to fix him next. We don't have many fresh veggies in the house, at least not ones that I'd opt to feed a baby, so I may end up having to go to the store tomorrow. I think all we have that's fresh is broccoli and Bear (from birth) has had enough gas to blow us all up, so I don't think he'll be trying anything cruciferous for a while yet. I remember when one of my friends fed her 8 month old some lentils. Can you say BLOWOUT? Eww.

Here's something interesting...my MIL sent Max's baby book to us and we were looking through it the other night and found a feeding chart for a newborn that started them eating cereal at 1 month and had moved on to meat by 3 or 4 months. It's amazing what changes in 30 years, isn't it? I just can't believe that the chart is so wrong, though. I mean, if Bear appears to be healthy and thriving from what we're feeding him, what's the big deal? I would worry if his digestion seemed to change after we started feeding him solids, but the majority of his calories and nutrition still comes from formula and will continue to for a good while. I suppose I am just worrying a lot about a minor thing, considering what a short time period of Bear's life this is. Is it really going to matter when he's 15 that he ate sweet potatoes a month before the books said he was supposed to? Doubtful.

Here's Bear and his friend Julia (and some mean geese) at Bear's first park visit yesterday:

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

One of these kids is not like the others...

So I joined this SAHM group about a month ago, thinking it would do me some good to get out a little and maybe even make some new friends. This group has one night per month when they go out without kids, otherwise the kids are always welcome. This past month, the moms night out event was a murder mystery dinner, which I really enjoyed. I talked to some other moms and got to know them a little better and our team even won by correctly guessing whodunnit. After a business meeting where we discussed upcoming events, however, I got a little worried. Now, I consider myself a person that is easy to get along with, but I never have just a ton of friends. I can get along with just about anyone, but only feel close with a few. I may have just tuned in to why this is...I have virtually no interests in common with many women my age! Should this frighten me? Am I boring? I've never felt that I was, but the next two upcoming moms night out events sound almost like Chinese water torture to me.

Next month, the group is planning a "wedding memories" party. They are going to meet at someone's house and bring their wedding albums to share with everyone else. Now, they are going to be enjoying some adult beverages while doing this, but come on! First of all, I'm not a big wedding fan. Of course, I'm married, so I did have one, but it involved a Texas courthouse visit and a trip to Nashville to my mom's neighborhood clubhouse for a small reception. And that was all I wanted, REALLY!! Anyhow, we do have pictures from that, but they're not in an album or anything. They're on CD and still on the memory stick in our camera. IT JUST WASN'T THAT BIG OF A DEAL, and I just don't see hanging out all night talking about how skinny we used to be as a fun activity. Besides, I actually weigh less now (yep, even after the baby) than I did two years ago when we got married, so there. :)

The following month is a "Sex and the City" party. They are going to see the movie and then going back to someone's place to have fancy drinks, which are apparently featured quite a bit in the show. I wouldn't know...I've never seen a full episode and I don't really have any desire to. I found the idea of a television show that basically encourages whoredom kind of repulsive, even if I am kind of a whore. Just kidding...I'm no ho, but I just never got into the show. I have a few friends who loved it, though, so maybe I don't know what I'm missing. I doubt it, though, television hasn't wowed me in a long time. I watch certain shows and I even tune into some shallow, dumb ones like American Idol, but I just don't think I'd like this.

So I guess the next 2 months of moms night out are no good for me. There are a few other activities planned in which I am going to participate in the meantime, so maybe that will be a good enough outlet for me. I hope so...I don't want to be the odd woman out. I just can't believe that I would be, though. I mean, I'm so ordinary and normal! Right???