Friday, April 18, 2008

Every step you take...I'll be watching you...

I have recently noticed Bear watching me...a WHOLE LOT. He watches me eat, in particular, but he also watches me while I'm cleaning, watching television, reading, talking, picking my nose, etc. On one hand, this is great, right? I've got an observant kid who's taking it all in. On the other hand, though, this sucks. I'm totally on display and he's taking note of everything I do. I've been in a managerial role in almost all the jobs I've ever had, but I've never had this much of an influence over someone and let me tell you, it's a little scary. He's going to want to do everything I do (as soon as he physically can), so I suppose I'm going to have to change some of my habits. For example, last night, I was being lazy and didn't fix dinner for us. I opted instead to eat Flamin' Hot Cheetos for dinner (going to try not to give Bear lots of snacks like that)...on the couch (which will be a no no for Bear)...while watching tv (another no no)...while feeding Bear. I don't want him to pick up these horrible habits and I can't justify hanging on to them myself if I'm wanting to teach him the right way. I was just chowing down on those little red dyed puffs and Bear looks right in my face and says, "Laaaa". I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure he was judging me. I know it's not as if I'm doing heroin in front of him or murdering people in our living room, but I want him to be healthy and that's really important to me. I've had a weight problem myself that coincided with puberty and I have to work under the assumption that Bear is genetically predisposed to it, as well. I know how to eat well (dammit), but I just don't want to sometimes (okay, a lot of times). The excuse of being too lazy to fix a meal for myself is just not going to cut it when Bear's watching my every move and I NEED TO GET THAT THROUGH MY THICK SKULL. It's not just me that will suffer for it, he will, too. I'm going to go fix some wheatgrass tofu oatmeal for myself now and I'll be sure to list every ingredient out loud to Bear, just so he knows his momma is a health freak.


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