Okay, let me start by emphasizing that I LOVE my son. However, I HATE his recent sleeping patterns. I am so stinkin' tired right now and I don't know how to fix it. I realized last night that I haven't had more than 6 or 7 hours of sleep at night for a few weeks now. I used to need about 9 hours to feel well and I'm assuming that hasn't changed. My mom is coming to visit at the end of this week and I can't wait! I'm pretty sure she'll help me get good sleep at least one night. Max tries to help getting him to sleep some nights and I appreciate it, but he doesn't wake up (AT ALL!!) to Bear's cries. Plus, he has to get up in the morning to go to work, so the waking up in the middle of the night is left to me. I would be fine with this arrangement if it had any sort of pattern to it, but lately Bear has just been acting like he's nuts at night. Three nights ago, it was beautiful: he went to bed kind of late (like 10:30), but he slept for 5 straight hours and just wanted to eat and go back to sleep. The next night, he woke up every hour and a half! I had no idea what his problem was, but after going in his room and getting him back to sleep like 483 times, I gave up and slept on the back breaking futon with him. Based on the previous night and his lack of naps yesterday, I expected him to sleep last night, but he wailed every time I set him down in his crib. I would pick him back up and he would fall asleep immediately, but if I tried to lay him down, he would cry again. I tried waiting 5-15 minutes to see if he'd put himself back to sleep, but the cries just escalated to screams. I finally got him to sleep in his crib at 11:30, only to have him wake back up at 12:50. I didn't have the energy to fight it anymore, so I spent the rest of the night on the futon with him. To top all of this off, I could get no help from Max--his allergies were bad and he took Benadryl, so he was OUT. And he wonders why I don't feel too enthusiastic about having another child. I'm told it gets easier and then I'll want more babies, but we'll have to see about that. I want to puke when I think about being pregnant again and I hate the amount of maintenance that's required at night time right now. I know every kid is different, but what if the next one is WORSE?? What would I do then? Seriously, in the middle of the night last night, I thought about just leaving. Of course, I was so sleepy I wasn't being rational at all and I'm pretty much back to normal this morning, but I really did consider just walking out the front door and leaving Bear and his daddy to fend for themselves. I think I didn't do it because I was too tired to take that many steps.
Where is the magic that everyone has been telling me happens at about 3 months? People have been telling me since Bear was born that at about 3 months babies typically start sleeping better and for longer periods. My mom even wrote in my baby book that I turned into a "real angel" at 3 months. Not true for Bear...angel is definitely not a word I would use to describe him. True, he's only a week into this month, but we'll see. He's (shock!) crying again right now so I guess I'm done complaining for the moment.
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