Well, after I wrote that nice long post on Tuesday, Bear and I headed for the gym. I took Bear to the child care room, just as I had done for the past two gym visits. Bear was doing well under the care of some very nice ladies, so I didn't worry about him at all. Every time I came in after my workout, he was smiling and enjoying the experience. Tuesday was a very different story. I came in after my workout and saw the 9 month old daughter of one of my friends, so I started to go to her and say hello, when I heard the loudest baby screams I've ever heard and I thought Oh my gosh, that's my kid! I looked for him and realized that he was in the separate room they have for babies to sleep in. One of the ladies was attempting to change his diaper and he was fidgeting and screaming the whole time. I took over the diaper change and asked what happened. All she did was set him down so she could use the restroom, and he would NOT stop screaming! Apparently, it had been going on for about 10 minutes before I came in there. He was probably a little overtired, since he got up a little earlier than normal that day, but my gosh, he would not settle down! He cried so hard that formula started coming out his nose! Needless to say, I felt horrible and was pretty sure everyone in the place was looking at me thinking That poor inexperienced girl...Doesn't she know how to calm her own kid down?? Well, sometimes I don't. I just couldn't do it, but neither could the lady who worked in there and she has like 10 years of experience working with babies! He didn't stop until we got outside, where he proceeded to start up again when I tried putting him in his car seat. He fell asleep on the way home, though, and we stayed home the rest of the day to give the poor boy a break from chaos.
You might guess that I would be nervous about taking Bear back to the gym with me, and you'd be right about that. I realize that he's going to fuss sometimes, but I don't want to torture him! The kind of screaming he was doing in there was worse than the screaming he's done when he had to get shots. Seriously. My mom and my friends all told me that I should try again, though. They gave me good reasons: 1) Bear has to get used to people other than his Momma and 2) Momma could really use the exercise and the time by herself. As it turns out, my mom (as usual) was right and so were my friends. I made the attempt again today, fully expecting them to come get me 10 minutes into my workout to tell me that they couldn't calm him down. I made it through the whole workout and thought that he'd be throwing some kind of fit when I got into the child care room, but was I ever surprised! I walked in and they had him strapped into his car seat and he was just watching the older kids play. The woman taking care of him said he didn't cry, not even once! She took him out of his seat for a little while, but when more kids started showing up, she had to set him down. I guess he was just in a better mood today, and now, so am I. I was so worried about leaving him and was even starting to wonder if I was being selfish by wanting to go back. Now I see that it's good for both of us to have time away from each other, even if it is only 45 minutes a few times a week. I'm going again on Saturday, but Bear is going to stay home with Max. That hasn't happened since Bear was very little, so hopefully it'll go well. I have faith, though! Max can do it! And even if he can't or Bear won't stop crying or something, he probably won't let me know about it. That's probably good.
I am not as excited about this weekend as I once was. My dad and his wife were going to come visit us, but they had to cancel because his wife's mother had a stroke. She lives in Ohio and they are going there instead to be with her. I completely understand, but I'm still disappointed. I don't get to see my dad too often. My mom lives close enough that she has been able to visit about once a month since Bear was born, but Dad has a job with strict hours and doesn't live as close. Also, I talk to my mom at least once a day, so I don't miss her as badly. My dad, on the other hand, isn't much of a phone person. Sometimes we'll get into a long conversation, but usually our best talks are had in person. Plus, he gets up early like Bear, so we would have had time together alone in the mornings. Oh well, he's going to try to make the trip in a couple of weeks, so it's not too bad. It's just that Bear is doing so much more than he was a few months ago when my dad was here last, and I was eager to share that. By the time Dad gets here, though, I'm sure Bear will be doing even more, so I'll have that to look forward to now.