If you've been keeping up with this blog, you'll know that Bear has not been sleeping too well lately. Well, I've decided to just stop freaking out about it and to try to stop worrying that I'm screwing him up with every move I make about sleep. I've been doing lots of reading on the subject, and I've come to the conclusion that lots of babies just aren't very good at sleeping, especially at 4 months. It makes me tired just to think about the nights ahead and I don't want my entire blog to end up being a sleep journal for Bear, so I'm going to attempt to let it go for now and not write too much about it. I think of myself as a generally positive person and I am not going to let poor Bear's sleep patterns (or lack thereof) to get either of us down. He is a joy during the day and that totally makes up for anything that happens at night. So, I'm going to try and stick to talking about things that happen in our lives prior to 8 pm, since that seems to be the witching hour for us.
In keeping with that, Bear and I got back from the park just a few hours ago and he got seriously wiped out there. It's so funny that he gets tired at the park, because all he does is swing for a few minutes and then just sits on my lap. He watches the other kids and I suppose that's what does it. Plus, it is HOT (supposed to get up to 92) here today and that alone is enough to make anyone want to take a nice nap, wearing nothing but a diaper. Okay, maybe I'd wear more than just a diaper, but still, the heat makes it so you simply cannot exert your normal amount of energy. Add in the Mississippi humidity to that heat and you've got a recipe for lots of lying around and not doing much of anything, which is what our plans are for the rest of the day. We will just be taking it easy until Max comes home from work and then we'll wind down for the day.
I am coming to realize (slowly) that being a SAHM is probably the best job for me. I'm WAY more committed to it than I ever have been to any other job (hmm, maybe because someone's life is at stake??) and although the rewards for doing a good job are not always as obvious, they will be much greater in the end. I just know this is what I am supposed to be doing. I went into Lowe's (where I worked before having Bear) yesterday and I talked to several people I used to work with and almost every one of them asked me if I was bored at home yet and wanted to know when I was coming back. I felt so bad for some of them that it didn't even occur to them that I wouldn't be working outside the home anymore. I wish being a stay at home mom was an option for more of them...I think it would make them happier in the long run. And then there are those that it is an option for, but they say that they would go nuts if they stayed home, which is fine, too. Anyhow, I just wanted to express my gratitude that I am able to do what I want, which is to stay home with my baby. And I'm lucky that we don't really have to make many sacrifices in order for me to do so. We've always basically made it work on Max's salary alone, so we never had to get used to my salary not being there. Maybe it was actually a blessing that I never made much money at my jobs?! Could be! All I know is that Bear is the absolute best and most important thing that has ever happened to me and I really appreciate being given the life that I always wanted for my family, even if I don't always say it out loud.